Yield to Pedestrians and Rock Stars

Summer has come to Ewing. The grass has gone through the typical change from winter brown to verdant green to summer brown. The sounds of lawnmowers and weed-whackers have replaced the harsh echo of snow shovels and ice scrapers. Thoughts of warm sun, air-conditioning, and flip-flops are beginning to surface.

The frequently perfect days in April and May were interspersed with the usual fickle Ewing early summer weather of 40 degree days and 80 degree days. The first 70+ degree days forced people to notice a few extra pounds that were conveniently hidden by bulky sweaters for the past few months. Uh oh. Shorts and bathing suit season is upon us again!

I can always tell when this realization hits, because the foot traffic at the Municipal complex track gets heavy all of a sudden. The Municipal track is located on Upper Ferry Road next to the Municipal Building. It is convenient, well-lit and well-maintained. One lap is roughly a half-mile, and there are gradual inclines that a fifty-something woman like me can navigate without needing an oxygen tank.

I walk five or six days a week at that track and I am usually the only walker there between November and the beginning of April. In April and May, one needs traffic lights and a crossing guard to control the pedestrians on the track. More and more people emerge into the sunlight to hike around the track trying to get into shape. So, instead of plodding along in my usual solo trancelike state, I feel as though I have to smile and give the cool head nod to my fellow walkers.

As the weather heats up in June, the number of walkers decreases again. We few faithful plodders drag around the track drenched in sweat and make frequent stops at the water fountains, gulping water and gasping for air. The thick Jersey humidity in July and August virtually guarantees an almost-empty track most days. So as I slog along leaving drip marks on the asphalt, I can pant like an asthmatic locomotive without fear of startling people into calling 911.

There are unspoken rules of etiquette at the track. For example, if you arrive at the track for your daily constitutional and there are already other walkers/runners out there, you must yield to them. If the other walker is trodding the outside of the path and you are too, then you, being the late arrival, must step to the inside of the path to let them go. If you pass another walker, you must do so without giving them a condescending smile, as if to say, “Tortoise, meet Hare.”

If you are walking in a group of more than two people, you must not stretch yourselves across the path, thereby forcing other walkers to trudge off the path and into the grass. Move to a single-file line until the other walker has passed. Then you may regroup and make snide comments about the person who just passed you.

If you are bringing your children to the track with you, you must instruct them not to ride their Big Wheels, skateboards, scooters, bikes, heelies or rollerblades into other walkers, thus forcing them off the path and into ankle-deep puddles of muddy water. If you choose to walk your dog while walking, please make sure said dog is leashed, has all its shots, and doesn’t show a proclivity to jump, chase, snarl at, bite, or otherwise harass strangers, especially sweating, grunting, half-dizzy-from-exertion older women who are too exhausted to make a run for safety.

Some days it’s more difficult than others to make it around the track four or five times. I pass the time and ignore the pain by listening to my mp3 player and pretending I am performing the songs I have downloaded on it. Some days I am in concert at the PNC Bank Arena. I am often appearing down the shore, and most frequently I can be seen at any of the numerous Philadelphia concert venues. I perform Heart, The Pretenders, The Eurythmics, and even Michael Buble’. I am always greeted by standing ovations, and on occasion I have guest performers such as John Bon Jovi. I like to call this art of concentration “Mind over Talent.”

So if you venture to the Municipal track weekdays between 4 and 5 PM or weekend mornings and you see a chubby woman clad in frayed shorts and Reeboks limping along listening to her music and moving her mouth to the words of a song, don’t ask her for her autograph. She is in the zone!